Nick Gibbons

Hello baby, goodbye sleep

2012-01-02T12:17:00.000-08:00

Where have I been? How dare I disappear for so long without even leaving a note or having the common decency to give you a call to let you know I was ok? I know a mere apology won't suffice. I can however account for at least nine months of my absence to this:

Meet Virginia "Ginny" Noelle Gibbons, the newest member of our running crew. She joined the Gibbons gang on Dec. 27th 2011, take that Uncle Sam! She weighed in at a hefty 6lbs 10oz's. She's only been here for 6 days and already we like a lot of the same things, such as, eating, sleeping, pooping, and most importantly boobs.

Like in the wild Nancy's first instinct was to eat her young.

But after an hour of some pretty tense negotiations, we were able to talk her out of it.

For the two of you that read my blog, and the one of you two that cares, here's more or less how it all went down.

No matter how much I tried talking her out of it, at around 1am Dec 27th Nancy went into labor. At 4:00am the contractions were close enough together to warrent taking a ride to the hospital. It was pouring rain and the contractions were getting more abundant. I wanted to take a taxi and have the baby in the back seat, like on TV, that way we could save all that money on medical expenses. Nancy insisted I drive. I used the drive to the hospital to force Nancy into choosing a name for the baby, I knew that in her stressed state, she would be more likely to settle on one of the names on the very tiny list we had made that week. My hunch paid off and we had the named locked in before we got to the hospital. At 4:30am we arrived and checked into our labor/delivery room. We were going to try natural child birth, the way the Marquis De Sade intended, especially since the pain and frequency of the contractions made it seem like the baby was due any minute. We thought for sure we were at 7 to 8cm. (FYI, 10cm is what you need). Then the RN told us we were just at 2cm. After a couple more contractions, I can only assume were terrible, and an open dialog that involved a lot of crying and begging, mostly from me, we decided to administer the epidural.

I'd like to stop here for a second and send a personal thank you to Mr. Epidural for inventing the single most amazing procedure in all of mankind. Sure the wheel is OK and fire is great and all, but the epidural is without a doubt the most useful and impressive discovery in all of time itself. You people with kids know what I'm talkin' 'bout.

After the spine tap started to work it's magic, Nancy was her less intense self again, and we pretty much just hung out shooting the shit for the next 10 hours. Then at 4:30pm it was go time, 10cm dilated and ready to rock. The room came to life with nurses running around and doctors checking in. Each contraction was met with a chorus of chants and cheers to push, breath, and squeeze. I think at one point one of the nurses even had pom poms, a rainbow afro wig, and a sign that said "John 3:16".

After 2 hours of pushing and lots of stuff I can never un-see, our little bundle of joy made her triumphant entrance into the outside world. I got to cut the cord, which I guess means I'm a doctor now, right? We hung out with the baby for a little bit and were then moved to our recovery room. They keep you for 2 nights so I got to sleep on this:

It was like something out of of the Ikea rejected design files. I felt like I was sleeping in the front seat of a 1970's van. We found out the worst part about having a baby is eating the hospital food. It was slightly better than a high school cafeteria and a little worse than an all you can eat Sizzler's last week before the health inspector closes it down.

The baby did good on all her baby tests and they sent us on our way. They forgot to tell us what to do with her after we left the hospital, but we've seen all 4 seasons of Jon and Kate plus 8 so we should be fine. I'm picking out my Ed Hardy shirt tomorrow.

We were a little worried when they baby did this:

But after close inspection we couldn't find any numbers on her head. I guess she just likes to rock.

We are all home and doing just fine now. The baby wanted me to let you know that she is registered at Target and Walmart.

I'll try and pop in here from time to time with musings on fatherhood and other silly things. Thanks and sorry for the long hiatus.

THUMBS UP

2011-05-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

Hi guy and gal. I entered a contest and now I need 150 thumbs up. That's where you come in. Please click HERE and watch my movie pitch, then give it a thumbs up.

Free hugs for everyone that does it.

Thanks.

Nick and Joe

2011-04-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

A long time ago I had an idea to make a cop drama about two buddy cops. One day one of the cops is killed and his soul inhabits a coffee pot. This all stemmed from me noticing that if you press the lid open and shut on my coffee pot it was like a puppet.

Recently a friend of mine asked me to make a short film with a puppet theme and the coffee pot idea popped back into my consciousness. Now since I had the original idea years ago I have made The FNGR, The Evener, and Rob Boss' Death Stroke. I thought it best to step away from the gritty cop thing for a while. I ruminated more and more about what to do with this coffee pot idea and decided to take my first real run at a sit-com style show. I have a large aversion to roommate driven fodder, but this seemed different enough for me to change my views. I crapped out a script and got to work.

I asked my Dad's Garage improv buddies Rueben and Eve to lend their pretty little faces to the characters. I wanted an old school animated intro and song so I begged my friend Mike Geier to help me with the music while I doodled some terrible drawings. Please enjoy the fruits of my labor:

The Carpenters (not the band)

2011-04-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

We've needed a bed in the guest bedroom/computer room for a while, but a futon was way to dirty hippie/college student and a full sized bed would've taken up way to much room. A Murphy bed would solve all our problems. After a little research we decided to try and build one ourselves.

We bought a kit off of Amazon for 250 bucks that came with the hardware, instructions, and a DVD. It was going to be a pretty involved project, but we were under the assumption that we were up for the task. At the last minute I had to work late the night we had decided to get the wood from Home Depot. We didn't make it there until 8:55pm. They close at 10pm. We had an hour to rent a truck, load it full of heavy wood, drive it home, unload it, and drive it back. We made it with 10 minutes to spare. Speed hauling should be the next Fast and the Furious plot line.

It took us three weekends to finish the damn thing. Murphy's Law is pretty bad, but it doesn't hold a candle to his bed. If your running out of things to argue with your wife about, might i suggest building a Murphy bed together.

Now we have a place for weary travelers to lay their heads when they stay with us. Please enjoy the video below, it's mainly for my parents, but you can watch it too, just keep in mind there are no fart jokes or off color humor, just bed building.

Dig It Baby

2011-04-08T07:57:00.000-07:00

Sorry, long time no blog.

Work at the ol' toon factory has been relentless as of late. A lot of really cool stuff going on that I can't talk about. I've also been improvising at Dad's Garage a bunch. Not to mention that me and Nancy have been building a murphy bed for our guest/computer room at the house. Here is a bit of advice, don't ever build a murphy bed under and circumstances, ever. Although I have learned a valuable lesson, if you are running out of things to argue about, build a murphy bed.

We are almost done with it and I will be posting a video of the process soon for future generations to learn from.

I made a video of the dog again, she keeps digging crap up in the yard:

Faced Book

2011-03-08T12:58:00.000-08:00

So I'm having one of those angry depressed moments in my life/career. I'm trying my damndest to get a show pilot bought. It's no secret, I started a facebook page a blog and told everyone I know about it. Toymageddon is the show if you haven't guessed by now.

Here's my dilemma. I have over 800 "friends" on the magical facebook. I have shared the Toymageddon facebook page several times and pleaded with people to "like" the page. It literally takes one click of the mouse button and does nothing else but sit on your page somewhere collecting dust. Of my 800 "friends", 60 have "liked" it. What the hell? That's a pretty shitty return.

I hate to sound like a baby, but I'm thinking of dumping all the "friends" that can't give me at least one click of the mouse. What are they all doing for me anyway? I'm not getting a bigger room in heaven because i have a bunch of "friends" on facebook. I hope not at least.

I know of the 60 "friends" that "liked" the Toymageddon page, only like 2 of you read my blog, but please let me know what you think I should do. Should I make one more enigmatic plea for acceptance then bring the hammer down or just not give a shit? Let me know what you think in the comments below. Love you.

This Video's Got Ballz!

2011-02-08T12:42:00.000-08:00

It's been a while, mainly because we've actually been busy at work, but we finally made a fresh new facebook video for my office. Below is said video, please enjoy.

The FNGR bitch!

2011-02-06T20:25:00.000-08:00

I have some terrible news friends. After a day of shooting and a day of editing, the latest chapter and complete retooling of the epic tale involving an alcoholic ex-astronaut who had his middle finger replaced by a talking bionic finger did not gain acceptance into the live screening of the coveted and highly esteemed Channel 101. It is with a heavy heart that I now share with you Dallas Houston's newest hobby, solving crimes in the evening, with the reboot of the beloved FNGR series entitled, The F.N.G.R.: Evenings.

Let me know in the comments section if you think the secret panel of Channel 101 judges was right or not. I promised myself I wouldn't cry...

Ricky Gervais Debate 2011

2011-01-19T09:02:00.000-08:00

I've been reading all the crap that the media has been vomiting all over the web-o-sphere about wether or not Ricky Gervais crossed the line with his hosting of the Golden Globes. I watched his monolog and a couple of his introductions to get me up to speed. The only thing he did that I can tell is expose how incredibly inane and retarded anyone is who works for the media. Seriously? Cross the line? A joke about Hugh Heffner being old and marrying a young girl is over the line?

I love Ricky Gervais. I think he's an incredibly smart, shrewd and funny man. He's help create some of the best comedy ANYWHERE for the past 10 years. He makes me laugh, he makes himself laugh more I think, but in the process he makes me laugh. I don't know if anyone out there knows this, and I might be about to blow your mind inside out, but... comedy... is... subjective.

WAHHHHHHHHH?!?

You mean to tell us Nick, that each person has a different sense of humor. That every individual was raised in their own bubble, having different values and experiences that shaped them into a wholly original being? WOW! You just broke new ground in human understanding.

You're welcome.

Here is my take on his jokes. I thought they were just OK. Nothing spectacular. Definitely not crossing any lines. If anything they were basic A to B jokes. A. So and so is fat. B. so and so has to get building permit to put on make up.

I watch a lot of comedy. A LOT. More than the average person. I have to, I write and perform comedy. I've learned my craft from all the brave insecure soles that came before me. Ricky Gervais's monolog was just a simple night show monolog. He did nothing new or push any boundaries, he just made simple jokes up about people that everyone knows. It's not an insult if EVERYONE in the audience thinks the same thing.

Let me break it down:

Hugh Heffner is old and marries young woman. CHECK
Charlie Sheen has a substance abuse problem. CHECK
Robert Downy Jr. HAD a substance abuse problem. CHECK
Bruce Willis' ex-wife is married to a guy as old as his daughters. CHECK
The Tourist was a bad movie. CHECK

Nothing he talked about was new or shocking to anyone. He said things that Conan, Letterman and Kimmell say EVERY night of the week.

To summarize,
1. Did he cross the line, no,
2. Were his jokes main streamy, yes.
3. Was he entertaining, definitely.
4. Should he do it again? If he causes as much of a stink, HELL YES!

I would love to hear what you think in my comments section, but no one reads my blog so I won't hold my breath.

This is for my parents

2010-12-30T17:40:00.000-08:00

Nancy and I drove to Dallas last week to spend Christmas with my side of the family. We decided to board Chewy because last year she peed on one of my grandmothers beds, right in front of us and Grandma. That's balls.

My mom and dad bought a stocking full of dog toys for Chewy, but since she was locked up in dog prison in Atlanta, my parents couldn't enjoy watching her destroy their gift. We got home safe and sound. I decided to make a very special holiday video for my parents of Chewy enjoying one of the phallic shaped rubber bones. Don't watch this if your not my parents. Enjoy(that enjoy was only meant for my parents).

Whatcha Chewing on There?

2010-12-30T09:19:00.000-08:00

Seasons Work Video

2010-12-21T09:30:00.000-08:00

I made another video fro my office's facebook page. It turned out really cute, check it out below.

I made something for you

2010-12-16T13:17:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone's holidays are going fantasmagormically magnanimoustastic! I made this just for you!

Also I went ahead and made a gif of it, please steal it and use it for all your iChat pleasure.

Whats gourd for the goose...

2010-10-26T06:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween guys, it's time for the annual pumpkin update. As always mines on the left and Nancy's is on the right.

There's just something magical about plunging a large sharp knife into something, pulling out it's guts, then carving shapes onto it, without having to bleach the house and bury evidence.

That band from the 1990s LIVE is touring right now, so the radio keeps shoving their one song in my ear holes. The other morning while my ears were being force feed their sonic assualt entitled "Pain Lies by the Riverside", I made a dumb joke. I then felt compelled to take way to much time out of my day and conjure this joke into a tangible form. Please enjoy:

That's all I gots for you little ghouls and boils out there today, don't forget to wear reflective clothing and look out for razor blades in your apples.

Inappropriate day

2010-10-25T12:54:00.000-07:00

I don't have a lot of time to write anything of any merrit so I'm just going to post a horribly inappropriate picture I drew for a fake animated show I want to not make. It's pretty self explanatory.

Happiest Puke on Earth

2010-10-14T08:36:00.000-07:00

We just got back from Disney World and boy is my wallet tired. I want to send a big shout out and fist bump to my buddy Randy and his lady Brecken, who made the trip possible. Brecken worked at Disney over the summer and thus had the ability to get us all into the parks free for 3 days AND half off our hotel room. Without that amazing deal we would have had to take out a second mortgage just to buy lunch in the parks.

Our trip was framed by vomit. The night before we left Chewy threw up on the couch, and our last day in the parks we witnessed no less than 5 throw up related events. As we pulled into the parking lot of the Animal Kingdom park, and walked toward the entrance, there was a little Asian girl puking on the sidewalk. She hadn't even made it to the park yet. I'm was affraid her head might explode if she actually got inside. On our way to the first ride we had to avoid stepping in a large pile of vomit waiting to be saw dusted. At lunch a little girl was hurling all over her table. The small pieces of her breakfast that now stained the front of pink T-shirt that read "princess" detracted slightly from her cuteness. Later in the day we had to avoid slipping in yet another large puddle of regurgitated park food. Finally, after a long day of park hopping, we were walking the last stretch of road to our hotel room, when we heard a child behind us start coughing, followed by the unmistakable sound of a stomach angrily tossing it's contents onto the ground. It's a Small Hurl After All.

We had tons of fun and I can't wait to go back.

I started tinkering around with the intro to the show I'm pitching. I wanted to do an animated animatic, which is just a storyboard with very limited movement. I did the very first shot, and am waiting on artwork for the rest, but I was so excited I just threw some words up where the storyboard panels will go. It ain't much, but it makes me smile:

Wheels on my career go round and round

2010-10-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

I have been working on a script or two for a show I want to pitch around. It's a great concept and wide open for some terrific parody of all your favorite 1980's toys and cartoons based on toys. I'm not going to tell ya too much, I just wanted to post the awesome picture my good buddy Todd Redner drew for me.

What I need is someone with clout to attach themselves to this project so I can get traction. I have no problem getting pitch meetings, but the industry is such that no matter how good your show might be, unless you have someone like Andy Dick attached, you won't get a second look.

So where my famous peeps? Lets get to show creatin'!

Here are the networks this show is good for, just in case you stumbled on this and you work for them,
Adult Swim
Spike
FX
SyFy
IFC
G4
Comedy Central
Mtv
and of course Lifetime for Women

SHOCKTOBER!

2010-09-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

Me and the wife got super excited about halloween and decorated our house before october even got here. If you're super brave you can watch the video of the outcome below:

I hope you didn't faint from fright after watching that video. I did warn you.

Here is a video to cleanse your palette after the last one. It's another video I made for my works Facebook page. It turned out super cute to the max.

If you aren't their fan on Facebook please click here, then look at the very top of the screen for a button that says "like" and click that shit super hard! Please leave us some comments and like our videos, I want my boss to keep paying me to write and produce funny videos to entertain my mom. Thanks!

Trim Down

2010-09-24T07:54:00.000-07:00

I wanted to trim down. Not my waste line silly, that would require diet and exercise, screw me a whole lot of that crap! I meant my website. After much soul searching I decided to lose the side bar and just have the blog front and center. I think its just simpler and sleeker, I'm sure all 3 people that read my blog are thrilled.

If you really want to see pictures of me, be my friend on facebook.

Not much else going on right now, just wanted to tell you not to freak out when you see that the site looks different. Calm down, everything will be OK. At least until the zombies get here...

UPDATE
I just figured out that by changing what i changed I screwed up a lot of other stuff, so i have to change it back for the time being. Who likes change anyway?

Nick's Impromptu Guide to NY

2010-09-21T06:17:00.000-07:00

Last weekend Nancy went to New York to participate in a cancer walk with one of her best friends. I decided to tag along. I hadn't been to the big apple in about two years. Nancy did a lot of research and found out that renting some ones apartment for the weekend was about half as much as getting a hotel room. The only down side is sharing the single bed with the people who live there.

She found a great little studio in the heart of Greenwich Village. Here was the view from our room:

I'm so used to just seeing feet go by our window in New York this confused me.

As I get older my midsection seems to be expanding. I think it may have become self aware, because I very strategically planned my trip around the old restaurants I used to frequent. If you are visiting NY, here are my suggestions for places to eat.

Mexican Radio - Get the Plantain Relleños with beef.
Saigon Grill - Points of Interests: Curry Ga, Goi Cuon Tom, Steamed Crystal Dumplings, La Sa Ga and wash it all down with a Lychee Martini

Two Boots Pizza - Best Slice in the City

Pomodoro Rosso - Our Favorite Italian place in the city, try the Tortelloni Panna E Piselli or the Rigatoni Alla Riicotta.
Katz's Deli - I know this is pretty touristy, but holy crap is it good. Pastrami on Rye, potato salad a beer and you can sleep the rest of the day.

It's difficult because there are only 1 or 2 bars in the city, but if you're vigilant and look very closely you can find a place to grab a beer. One of my favorite places to go is McSorely's.

They only have two beers to choose from, light or dark and they serve you two small glasses when you order one. It's one of the oldest bars in the city and has a pretty hefty lineage. I suggest going there during the day and hanging out for a bit when you need a break from walking around.

My favorite thing to do in the city is to just walk around. It's unlike anything you'll ever experience. The buildings are awe inspiring. The people are more than often confusing as hell. The seemingly endless city sprawl is breathtaking. The sudden unexplainable horrific smells of urine and feces that smack your nose in the face are always new and different.

The best areas to just take it all in are Union Square and just south of Union Square.

Greenwich Village and the docks are great as well.

They just finished this great elevated pathway/park along the lower west side called High Line Park.
Another great part to walk around is SoHo. There's lots of great stores and stuff down there like Kid Robot.

If you've never been to New York City definitely check out Times Square. We avoid it like a Carrot Top show.

We had a blast on the trip and it was good to see a lot of my old friends. I do miss certain aspects of living in the city. Time and distance definitely paint the city in a glowing romantic light. After thinking about it though, I realize that we were staying right in the heart of the city and weren't that worried about the money we were spending on restaurants, because it was a vacation. Living there takes away those tropes. With the chore of riding a crowded subway at rush hour and paying large sums of money for 7 square foot apartment not looming over your head, the city is much more magical.

Before I left for New York, I forced a friend of mine at Radical Axis, Jason Barnes, to draw a caricature of me.

I'm not sure wether to hug him or slug him.

Finally I made another video for the Radical Axis Facebook Page! Please enjoy, and if you aren't a fan yet please click the clicky thing on the page.

Oh yeah, one more thing. If you happened to be an exec at a network looking for a funny, over the top, violent, and irreverent animated show to produce for 18 to 27 year olds thats a cross between Futurama and the Venture Bros. Might I suggest THIS.

DRAGON*CON 2010!

2010-09-08T07:24:00.000-07:00

Radical Axis got to go to Dragon*Con this past Friday to sit in and watch the Adult Swim panel. I've never been and had no idea what was in store for me. It was literally one of the craziest Cons I've ever been a part of. I'm surprised my face didn't freeze in the "confused look" I must have made hundreds of times that day. I never knew spandex could stretch so far. It was like Halloween on steroids, dipped in a boiling hot vat of nerds and B.O.

My favorite part was the malls food court. It was full of Mario Bros, anime characters, and other various costumed people scarfing down hot dogs and pizza slices. It sort of ruined/enhanced the illusion.

The night before the Con me and Nancy went to see our buddy Big Mike sing at Trader Vics. He performs there every Tursday night and it's always fun, but with Dragon*Con in town the insane-o-meter is amped up all the way. The best part of the night was seeing Luke Perry. I couldn't be bothered to approach him and ask for a picture, so I paparazzi'd his ass.

Fun fact, the actual date that this picture was taken, no joke, was 09/02/10. I think the Aztecs predicted this photo.

Here I am with Unknown Hinson, the voice of Early from Squidbillies.

He's super nice and sang some really funny songs on the Adult Swim Panel. Every Dragon*Con my friend John J. comes down from a mysterious and dangerous land called New Jersey to promote his Adult Swim fansite, Adult Swim Central. I got to sit in on the Adult Swim fan panel with John J., Ashley and Mark. Mark runs the Venture Bros. fan blog. We had over 50 people crammed into a small room that wanted to hear us not be able to answer any of their questions because none of us actually work for Adult Swim. It was great!

I basically goofed off on the panel and tried to entertain the audience with my brand of shenanigans. I found a box of breakfast bars under the table when we sat down so I started chunking them into the audience. I know what people want. Toward the end I made one of the people in the front row ask me a question:

The Con was great fun and I highly recommend it for anyone who likes to look at weird stuff for three days. You will not be disappointed. Now here is a video I made for Radicals Facebook page about the Con.

No he didin'

2010-09-01T14:27:00.000-07:00

New video for work:

Horrible poster me and my buddy Craig made at work:

I regret nothing.

Radical Videos

2010-08-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

We've been making silly videos for the Radical Axis facebook page the past couple of weeks. I'm just glad I am getting the chance to flex my funny and creative muscles. Here are the last two we made. Super cute and I get naked. I know, it's like eating a slice of heaven dipped in rainbow unicorn sprinkles.

Also:

This is a blog entry

2010-08-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, hope everyone on the internet is doing well. I've been super busy at work putting together pitch material for jobs we are bidding on. There is some fantastic talent here at the old Radical Axis for sure.

I also helped a buddy of mine out with some sort of fan film thing. I'm still not sure what it is to be honest, but I got to recreate a scene from Top Gun.

Did a show with my buddy Randy at Dad's Garage last night where we played our two motivational speaker characters. We have wanted to do an improv show with these guys for a long time. The show was great, just a lot of fun. It was pretty much thrown together in a week, and needs a lot of polish, but damn was it fun. It's a little late now, but here's a trailer we shot a while back and repurposed it for this show:

Saw Scott Pilgrim and can't recommend it enough. You don't need to know anything about video games, pop culture, hipsters, or anything to see it. It's just a lot of fun, unless you hate fun. I feel like people aren't seeing the film because they think they have to have a weird understanding of nerd culture or something. Not the case. Go see it, I want Edgar Wright to make more films.

I missed a payment on my AT&T phone/cable bill. In an attempt to set things right I tried to call AT&T, who, correct me if I'm wrong, is, first and foremost, a telephone company. I scoured their website for 10 to 20 minutes before I could find a number to call. It shouldn't be this hard to find a telephone number for a phone company. It was like an Indiana Jones movie. I felt like I was in search of a buried artifact or something. I did have to decipher hieroglyphics and fight a statue that came to life, but eventually I got the number.

After waiting a while, a woman answered. I'm assuming she was excited, with the number so hard to find she probably never gets called. I asked to get the balance on my account and she asked for some strange 4 digit number that I didn't know. Apparently over a year ago I set that up. I'm reasonably intelligent, but I have slept since then and wasn't able to recall this mystery number, even after trying 3 of the go to numbers that I always choose for this sort of thing. She can't open my account without this number so the next option was to answer a question. The question was what was, "my favorite restaurant?". I do not now nor have I ever had a favorite restaurant, and having to recall what that might have been over a year ago proved to be an epic failure.

Her hands were tied at this point, and we had to part ways, billing problem unresolved. You would think with the myriad of information that I do possess about myself, we could have found some common ground. But no, it was that 4 digit number or my favorite restaurant. Those were the only bits of info that would have proven I wasn't some crazy guy that wanted to pay some other dudes bill. I mean I wanted to give them money, you would think they would bend over backwards to take money. It's money after-all.

I gotta go to lunch.

You can never have too many explosions!

2010-08-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

A while back I was asked to write and produce a video piece for my current place of employmenet, Radical Axis Inc. The guys had a panel at the San Diego Comic-Con and wanted something fun to show. I got to work and with the help of the extremely talented folks here at Radical, we put together this:

I think the trailer turned out great, the guys in it are all my bosses.

That amazing voice over is none other than Big Mike Geier, and if you happen to live in Atlanta, you owe it to yourself to go to his Elvis show. They only happen about twice a year and they are amazing.

Action!

2010-07-26T06:49:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was super busy. My friend Clay Liford, an independent film maker in Dallas, asked me to play a roll in his latest feature. The title keeps changing, but as of right now it's called "WUSS", and no it isn't my life story.

On the plane to Dallas I sat beside one of the characters I play in the Night-OH-Cabaret, Shekkie Bergman's, doppelgänger. Here is a picture of Shekkie:

And here is my secret photo of his twin.

Sorry for the quality. It does have that Big Foot captured in the wild feel, which is cool. This dude even had a huge gold-nugget watch, an enormous diamond encrusted ring, and a gold chain. I felt like I owed him some sort of reimbursement check.

Back to the film. I think originally I had a much bigger role, but scheduling and the fact that I live in Atlanta might have shrunk my part. We had several talks about the script over the past couple weeks. I was supposed to be a character named Ted, so I had started learning Ted's lines.

Unfortunately there was a pretty hefty re-write that added new characters to my scenes. Half my lines were re-issued to new characters. I noticed there was a new character named Nick in the script which confused me, but I continued to learn Ted's lines.

I flew in Wednesday and that night, in a bar around 11 o'clock, Clay told me I was playing Nick, not Ted. The shoot was the next day and I was nervous that I wouldn't know Nick's lines by then, so I woke up early and looked over the script. 1... 2... 3... three lines. I went from several lines to 3 lines. A lot of actors might be sad about losing so many lines, but i was relieved.

Here I am with my scene partner Frank.

All our scenes where around a D&D game. I've never played any role playing games before. We also had to smoke fake weed. I'm just glad we didn't get fake raided by the fake DEA and thrown into fake jail.

The shoot took place in a house, I found a room with lost of ducks:

The entire shoot was 13 hours. It was fun and everyone on the shoot was great. I can't wait to see the final film. I really owned my three lines, I wouldn't be surprised if I get an Oscar nod for best supporting supporting supporting supporting actor.

NIGHT-OH-CABRET JULY 23rd

2010-07-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

This will be fun. Please spread the word.
CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS
CLICK HERE FOR THEATER INFO

Happy Birthday America, did you get my card?

2010-07-04T20:04:00.000-07:00

In honor of the 4th of July, here's a video of me being attacked by Uncle Sam:

I didn't get a call on Thursday telling me I won the Butterfinger contest, I guess you guys didn't pray hard enough. Oh well.

In an attempt to drown my sorrows I made a video of my Dog, Chewy, enjoy.

I'll cut off your finger bitch!

2010-06-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

I've never been to comicon, and I really want to go. But I don't want to pay for it. In an attempt to make that happen I made a silly video for a butterfinger contest. The prize is a trip to comicon.

The contest was to make a video that showcased a talent in an attempt to become the fourth member of the Butterfinger Defense League. I hope I win, but I don't know what will be expected of me if I get into the "League". Will there be meetings, dues, or will I have to fight people just trying to buy butterfingers? Only time will tell.

Video Game - E3 2010

Drunk Ghosts

2010-06-26T07:44:00.000-07:00

Now that the tiki hut is finished, me and the little lady and the littler lady have enjoyed many a night out there with friends, food, and our favorite libations. The other night however, our fun time took a terrifying turn for the scary. We were visited be alcoholic ghosts. Don't believe me? Here is a the video to prove it. No editing tricks or special effects were used in this video:

SCAAAAAAARY!

Crotchtastic Conclusion

2010-06-11T07:11:00.000-07:00

I got 1000 views on the second episode of Radioactive Crotch Man!!! Kind of... I may or may not have reloaded the page a couple times to get it over the 1000 mark... allegedly...

As promised here's the third and final episode ever made of your favorite atomic crotch powered superhero! This is my favorite episode and I kinda wish I had done more of these, this is the one character I think could have made it onto TV if the timing had been right.

The offer still stands for J.J. Abrams, Judd Apatow, the Farely Brothers, Adam McKay or Seth MacFarlane to snap up the motion picture rights for this diamond in the rough.

Enjoy:

Radioactive Sequel

2010-05-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

I'm sure J.J. Abrams, Judd Apatow, the Farely Brothers, Adam McKay and Seth MacFarlane are just talking to their lawyers and producers, firming up an offer for this property. While we all wait to find out which one of these talented and able directors will helm this property for the big screen, I thought I'd post the 2nd episode.

This episode features my best friend Sam Mertes as the bad guy. He did a great job, I love that guy. My favorite part is the diaper of doom still in the credits.

If you have a facebook page or twitter account please share this video, I'm not going to post the last episode unless this one gets at least 1000 views.

Thanks, and if any of you guys know J.J. Abrams, Judd Apatow, the Farely Brothers, Adam McKay or Seth MacFarlane, please let them know that I'm looking for them.

Is this an audience or an intervention?

2010-05-26T06:34:00.000-07:00

Did improv at Relapse theater last night with a great bunch of improv cats called Automatic Improv. I love those guys, so much energy and love for the craft. It's always a ton of fun to share the stage with them. Last night there wasn't a whole lot of people in the audience, but it was still fun.

I checked with AT&T, and my cel phone is working, so I'm confused why I haven't heard from J.J. Abrams, Judd Apatow, the Farely Brothers, Adam McKay or Seth MacFarlane yet. I mean come on guys, If this movie is going to hit the big screen summer 2011, we gotta get going. I have some great ideas on how to shoot the scene where Dick Peters uses the bathroom for the first time after getting hit in the crotch with that meteor, slicing the urinal in half with his laser piss.

We haven't even talked about the hysterical scene where the construction worker is trapped under the huge statue, and Radioactive Crotch Man rams his crotch over and over against the statue to shatter it, but the best part is he does it into the butt part of the statue. There will be so many LOL's during that scene let me tell you.

I'll keep working on the screenplay on my own, but it would be nice to have a contract in play.

Waiting

2010-05-24T12:40:00.000-07:00

Still waiting to here from J.J. Abrams, Judd Apatow, the Farely Brothers, Adam McKay or Seth MacFarlane about making the Radioactive Crotch Man feature film. It practically writes itself for goodness sake. Just imagine the "awakening" scenes, when our hero's new abilities start to come to light. Is he in a Starbuck's and his crotch starts glowing, humming perhaps? How does he deal with it and not look like a perverted freak? It's slapstick 101 gold! GOLD!!!!!!

While I'm waiting to strike a deal with one of those amazing film makers, I decided to post the old Night-OH-Cabaret documentary I made back in 2000. We had been doing the show for a little over 2 years at this point, with about 100 something shows under our belts. We thought it would be fun to do a little video. Nothing was planned ahead of time, we just sat everyone down and asked them questions. I was amazed to find in the editing room that common threads were woven throughout the interviews, totally by accident. The final product turned out really adorable.

Lets hop in our time machines and visit the past:

Sorry about the ads, this was the only site that let me upload a clip longer than 10 minutes.

Future Summer Blockbuster

2010-05-23T13:15:00.000-07:00

This is an open letter to J.J. Abrams, Judd Apatow, The Farely Brothers, Adam McKay and Seth MacFarlane.

Dear Guys,

I'm open for negotiations to the rights of the amazing character/concept that is "Radioactive Crotch Man". This is screaming to be made into a major motion picture, in 3-D no less. You can't tell me that any of you guys wouldn't want bragging rights about making the longest dick joke in history.

Just imagine Adam Sandler ,Seth Rogan or Jim Carey, as mild mannered hot dog vender, Dick Peters. Dick has been dealt a bad hand and his life seems to be in the toilet. Until the day when he is hit in the crotch by a meteor, that imbues his nether regions with strange super powers. Using his new found "gifts" he cleans up his home town and gets the girl of his dreams.

Sure the crotch jokes would come fast and furiously, but there is plenty of room for a well written and thoughtfully developed twist on the super hero genre. Curiosity alone will net you 50 million the first weekend, guaranteed. That 18 to 34 year old male audience is dying for something like this.

So lets get the ball rolling, you can call me any time of the day or night. Looking forward to working with one of you lucky lucky guys.

Kisses,
Nick Gibbons

Lights, Camera, LIGHTS!

2010-05-19T06:32:00.000-07:00

Time to mix the cocktails and fire up the grill! The Tiki Hut is wired up and ready for business, MONKEY business that is.

Here's a picture before I put in the mandatory christmas lights:

And here's a fun video:

Also, I was in my boxer shorts when I made this video, just thought you needed to know that.

Son of a Ditch

2010-05-19T06:23:00.000-07:00

You know when you complain about your job and someone says, "It's better than digging ditches." And then you think, "Shut the fuck up Frank, you stupid jerk." Well I'm here to tell you Frank was right. I dug a 60 foot long 8 inch deep trench, and it sucked donkey balls dipped in pig shit.

Here is a video midway through, brace yourself ladies, I'm all sweating. It's almost too sexy to show.

Sorry ladies I'm spoken for...

Words

2010-05-10T06:41:00.000-07:00

Look guys, it's an old fashion word covered blog. No links, movies, or pictures, just hieroglyphic like symbols that all string together into a story. You may even have to hire someone to transcribe this blog to you, like Indiana Jones.

It's been a while since I sat down and let my fingers do the talking. I hope they have something interesting to say. Usually when I let my fingers do the talking, it involves just one of them, and I'm driving. Speaking of the bird and driving, I just wanted to send a shake of the head, a disapproving scowl, and a short message to the dude on the bicycle this morning. Dude! If your going to ride your bike in the middle of the road and not let people go around, it is rude as fuck balls to get to a traffic light and pass all the cars that are waiting for the light to change. I, with a clear conscience and zen state of mind, do, with all sincerity, hope that your chain gets caught in your pant leg. Ah, I feel better.

Happy belated mothers day to all you mothers out there. My parents flew into Atlanta this weekend, so I got to hand my mothers day card directly to my mother. It saved me 44 cents! It was the first time they had seen our new house and the sweet ass tiki hut I built.

They stayed at a hotel since we don't have a bed in our guest room yet. Both Saturday and Sunday we snuck into their hotel and all enjoyed a nice free continental breakfast. We all felt so very continental. It's was exciting being a breakfast bandit. Nothing taste better than free Belgian waffles.

On Saturday we grabbed the dog and all went for a hike at Sweetwater State Park. The park is great. It's got raging rapids, a burned down warehouse from the civil war, and a 5 foot black snake that scared the bejesus out of us. I'm not guaranteeing you'll see the snake too, but it was headed east.

That night we grilled some meat and relaxed. It was a great day. Sunday my Dad helped get me started on hooking up an electrical line down to the tiki hut, so we can have lights and plug in blenders to make fruity tropical drinks. Thanks for making sure I didn't kill myself dad. After my parents left to go back to Dallas, I started digging the 60 foot long 8 inch ditch from the house to the tiki hut to bury the wire. I dug for 3 hours, and today my body is really pissed at me.

That's it for now boys and girls. Go see Iron Man 2, it has Scarlett Johanson in it. They tell me there were other actors as well, but I don't remember seeing them.

Using My Hands

2010-04-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

I got the honor of lending my voice and likeness to a character on an Episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force recently. The character I played was named Nick Gibbons, so it wasn't a real stretch. The episode was called Hands on a Hamburger. It was like one of those contests where everyone has to keep one hand on a car and the last one left wins the car, but instead of a car it was a huge hamburger. Here's the clip:

I know, I know, very impressive work. I am extremely talented after all.

Also don't miss Aqua Teen Hunger Force on Adult Swim! Their 100th episode is coming up next week, and I helped edit it a little bit.

Oh Nick, what a cut up

2010-04-13T13:48:00.000-07:00

Here's me goofing off in the truck:

Here's me goofing off in the public storage place:

I love my iPhone!

Banboo-zled

2010-04-12T11:57:00.000-07:00

I am officially the best husband in the entire world.* I drove a 26 foot Penske truck full of my in-laws furniture from Dallas to Atlanta. Not only did I loose 10 years off my life from white knuckling the 14 hour drive, I moved my in-laws from 767 miles away to just 1 mile away. The new definition for "Glutton for Punishment" is "Nick Gibbons" Look it up.

Here is the monster that I was inside of for 14 hours:

What of the Tiki Shack you ask? Here it is below:

Also go here and get tickets for the Last Seen Improv Festival this weekend. Several amazing improv groups from all over the country are conveining at Dads Garage for a 4 night improvisplotion! And I'll be in a show there every night!

*Wife may or may not agree.

Easter West

2010-04-04T15:55:00.000-07:00

Like the Easter Bunny always says, "Eat your chocolate, or Jesus will hate you." Regardless of whether you ate your chocolate or not, Happy Easter.

Almost done with the hut. Just need to pimp it out with trim and juice. You can take that however you want.

Screening Process

2010-03-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

I stapled up the screen today and I can't make a fist anymore. It's probably for the best because I'm always starting bar fights. I used three boxes of staples, literally hundreds of staples...LITERALLY!!!

Metal screening is evil. It looks all nice and smooth, but the edges will poke and prick the shitballs out of you when you lest expect it. It's like a defense mechanism. I have so many tiny holes in my fingers and palm now. Do you remember in the cartoons when a character would get all shot up then drink water and it would pour out of the holes? That's like my hands, only it's blood.

I'm thinking of taking off the word recognition filter, so the spambots can leave comments again, since none of you jerks do.

This Old Hut

2010-03-28T07:52:00.000-07:00

Talked to my neighbor again, and of course he told me I did my roofing wrong. In retrospect I knew I was doing it wrong, but I was so happy I got the roll roofing up the ladder without dying that I ignored my inner carpenter.

Facing the fact that a spent money on something that took me all day to do that I might have to respend the money then redo he job, ignited a 6 hour bout of depression. UNTIL I talked to my dad, who suggested the roll roofing in the first place, and he told me he did the same thing and to buy a 5 gallon buck of this stuff called Henry's roof seal. You basically roll it over the entire roof like paint and it seals the ever loving crap out of it. Problem solved, Nick undepressed.

Veloci-rafters

2010-03-25T12:27:00.000-07:00

Not one, not two, but TWO videos today!!!!!

Got the rafters up AND got on the roof for the first time. It's been a big day, BIG I TELL YA!

Shaping up

2010-03-24T07:07:00.000-07:00

Things are shaping up pretty good so far on the screened in porch. Hoping to get the roof on this week.

And in case you needed to fill your cute quota for today:

FRAMED!

2010-03-20T17:11:00.000-07:00

Hammering nails all day isn't my idea of fun, but that's how I spent my Saturday. I guess being unemployed means every day is Saturday anyway. Nancy helped me raise the walls, not so bad for a girl. Afterward, we felt just like the Amish.

Weekend Update

2010-03-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

Made a quick video of the progress today. Also made a number 2, but I won't post that up here don't worry.

Another Blog Entry

2010-03-19T10:30:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I put together a sort of mock up of what the screened in porch will look like yesterday, to get a better idea of how I will put it together. Here is a side view of the frame.

After doing a little research about framing walls and joists and crap like that, and seeing this mock up, I'm not as freaked out about the whole thing. I was a little scared about the walls and roof to be honest. It was holding construction back. But now I have a plan and I'm fired up!

Having the 2x4's delivered tomorrow. Not all of them, just working on the back wall to start.

Going on an open call audition Monday. I haven't auditioned for anything in a long time, but I'm not nervous about it at all. It will be nice to willingly be judged by people I don't know for a change. Fingers crossed.

I also enabled a word verification thingie in my comments section, suck on that spambots!

Suck My Deck

2010-03-18T08:25:00.001-07:00

In the last video I said I couldn't decide if I wanted to start screwing on the deck. By that I don't mean having sex on it, although that would be awesome, I meant putting the decking onto the support structure. Well I decided at 5pm to start, and at 8pm I was done! Well.... almost done, I was short 2 12 foot deck boards, so I borrowed my sister-in-laws SUV, thanks Amy, and picked up the final pieces this morning.

A screw here and a screw there and BAM:

Now I have to figure out how to do the screened in porch.

On a personal note, I'm looking for writing/production coordinator work to help pay for, among other things, the deck and my mortgage. If any of my friends at studios out there know of some job openings send um my way. I love you guys!

Double Decker

2010-03-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

Not letting the rain stop me, I powered through:

Upper Decker

2010-03-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

Been hard at work on the deck today, finished up the support beams for the decking and am ready to lay the floor!

My manly meter is quickly approaching Grizzly Adams.

I'll Deck You!

2010-03-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

Was watching a commercial for the new "How to Train Your Dragon" movie, and the announcer said at the end, "In 3-D!" then he said really fast "Also showing in 2-D". I thought that was really funny for some reason. As if they had to do something special to the film to make it 2-D. Retro fitting it.

I guess we have rounded a corner where 3-D is more accepted. Regular old stinky 2-D is getting the backseat. I haven't actually seen ANY of the movies that have been realesed in 3-D, actually in 3-D yet. Nancy refuses to go and I could give two shits about wearing glasses during a movie so it looks like stuff is flying at my face. I have enough crap flying at my face for real. I feel like an old person that hates that darn loud rock-n-roll crap the kids are listening to these days.

I got a new baby brother for my circular saw today. They say you can tell alot about a man by the size of his drill bit.

If for some reason my brother-in-law reads this blog entry, which is highly unlikely because NOBODY reads this blog, he will notice I did have to buy a new drill. This is due to the fact that, yes, I did indeed kill your drill. It put up a good fight, but in the end the old girl couldn't manage. I buried her in the backyard. It was a very tasteful ceremony. Not the most expensive package they offered, but still tasteful.

Here is the fourth installment of the on going series about building a deck. Suck it Vila!

A Full Deck

2010-03-11T07:30:00.000-08:00

I'm extremely tunnel visioned when it comes to projects I start, almost to the point of OCD. It's been raining for two days causing the construction of the deck to grind to a hault. It's driving me crazy.

Here is the state the deck is in right now, minus the water:

I want to get out there and screw some wood onto those freaking posts!

I keep looking out the window and checking to see if my posts are OK, like a nervous father when his children are playing in the backyard alone for the first time. I get a sense of pride as I see my brave little solders all standing at attention. Nothing falters them, not even the pounding rain. They stand up straight, waiting to support their dads weight on hot summer nights. Stay ever vigilant my little ones, your time will come.

UPDATE:
Got this at Home Depot this morning, daddy's first power tool.

The rain let up and I was able to cut the 4 inch pieces of 2"x4" needed for the deck. AT&T guy called and said he was on his way. We are ditching Comcrap and getting AT&T because they are leaps and bounds better. Weeeeeeee!

Decked Out

2010-03-10T12:16:00.000-08:00

Here is another video yo!

Also, just watched Zombieland, not as great as everyone said, also not what I expected at all, but very good nonetheless. The trailers don't do it justice and give you a very false sense of the movie's voice. I had fun watching it and definitely recommend it. Two bitten off thumbs in my mouth up.

Deck the Yard

2010-03-10T07:32:00.000-08:00

Here is the first video sort of documenting the screened in porch I'm attempting to build.

Also going to put a new and improved cut of the Aqua Rangers up today. It will just rplace the one that is in the blog entry below this one. An editor friend of mine gave me some really constructive criticism and some good places to trim, and after throwing a baby tantrum I agreed with him. Now it's leaner and meaner.

Holy Enshortened Aqua Rangers!

2010-03-04T14:17:00.000-08:00

Hi guys, I just finished editing down the Aqua Rangers from 47 minutes to 20 minutes. It took a lot longer than I wanted it to take. I also changed the timing of a lot of gags. It feels pretty good to me. I did it so I could submit it to a TV pilot festival.

If you have 20 minutes to kill check it out below:

Let me know what you think in the comments section. Also if you've never even heard of the Aqua Rangers, and want to buy the full length DVD complete with commentaries and some really funny behind the scenes and extra stuff, for the love of Pete click HERE!

Did you miss me?

2010-03-02T06:43:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I lost my blog over a month ago and just found it under a pile of magazines on the coffee table. No doubt all of you are just dying to know what has been going on in my life for the past month. What was that? I couldn't hear you over the crickets.

I know there's no excuse for ignoring my blog, it's selfish and shallow. Just like having a blog in the first place. The show I was project managing was kicking my ass. The last thing I wanted to do when I got home was stare at a computer some more. Well, we finally finished the first season of Archer and are now on the dreaded hiatus. Good news is we got a second season, bad news is it doesn't start back up for another "unpaid" month.

This break will give me a chance to catch up on a few things, important things like blogging. After all, nothing is more important than informing the spam-bot that keeps leaving grammatically inept comments about financial security and comments in Japanese on my blog entries. I'm not deluded enough to think that anyone reads this damn thing and the only reason I'm doing a blog is to have a record of my life. When I get Alzheimers, I can read this blog and say, "Who the hell is this guy, and why is he so lame?"

Without further delay, here are a couple of things that have happened over the long blog break. I hope you are all seated with your safety harness firmly strapping you in, and please keep your hands and legs inside the blog at all time.

I applied for a job at a video game company recently. They required a 1500 word writing sample. I have a buddy that works there and he told me it should be space related, so I wrote an excerpt from a story/script hybrid. It was very sci-fi novel-ish. 1678 words, and a week later I got the old thanks but no thanks e-mail. I printed it out and pasted it on the wall of rejection letters, I've almost wallpapered the guest room at this point.

I had a lot of fun writing it though, and I've decided to actually write a shitty sci-fi pulp novel. I'm 2008 words in and its as good as one would expect. I'm planning to tinker with it each day when I don't have a hundred other things to do. It's not at the top of my list of projects to finish, but it is a good filler. Out of a fit of laziness I'm planning to write it blind, and by that I mean just go where the story takes me as I write. Lately I've been a hyper planner when it comes to writing, but this is just for fun, so screw it.

I have also decided to use some of my time off to build a screened in porch/tiki hut at the end of our yard. We have a creek behind our house and the thought of hanging out outside without some sort of proactive barrier frightens me, because the mosquitoes in Atlanta are as big as a Yugos and unionized. I plan to post little videos of the process so when I'm in court because I didn't apply for any permits from the city they will have an ironclad case against me.

Now here are random photos of things that have taken place over the past couple months. Some of them I have posted on facebook, but my mom doesn't have a facebook account so this is more for her. Hi mom.

Here I am as the village blacksmith in an episode of an improv show called Monster Movie at Dad's Garage. I ended up smelting an amazing sword so heavey no one could pick it up.

Nancy has been really good at teaching the dog tricks. Here Chewy is reading a book with Nancy. It's not THAT impressive, Chewy can only read at a 5th grade level.

I was in another show at Dad's called Murder She Improvised, which is an improvised murder mystery. This particular episode I was a bass fisherman named Skeet.

We took Chewy for a walk in Piedmont Park a while back and I found Santa's sleigh. We still haven't found his body and fear the worst.

This is from another Murder She Improvised, here I played championship wrestler Dusty Pancakes. I put on some weight for the role.

Remember the day it snowed? Everywhere?

They are rebooting the sitcom Home Improvement, this was my audition.

I had a cough for about two months. Instead of just ignoring it until I died, Nancy made me go to the doctor. He took a chest x-ray. Not on this machine, I had to stand in front of the wall next to this machine, but a picture of the wall wasn't as cool.

Apparently, according to this "doctor", I have high blood pressure. I was all like, "No I don't fuck you Doc!" Then he was like "No, Fuck you!" and I was like "Fuck you Doc." Then he put his cigarette out on my arm, and now you know what happens at my doctor when you spill paint in the garage.

There's this bad ass walking trail in our neighborhood. We had walked all the way to what we thought was then end of the trail about 7 months ago. We took another walk on it this past weekend and it seems like if we would have turned right and walked 20 more feet at the end of the trail the first time, we would have seen this:

It's a good thing we brought our spray paint, after tagging the wall we went back home.

That's all for now.... or is it? Here is a bonus video. My buddy Ricki Derek had a Christmas show in December. Unfortunately I couldn't make it down to be in the show, but I put together a little video segment for the show and it's safe to show now. Enjoy?

I dun got interviewed Ya'll

2010-01-10T10:54:00.000-08:00

A while back I was approached by a really cool animation site called Frederator. They wanted to feature one of my old animated films called Fetal Fury. I said hellz yeah. I sent them a good copy of it and forgot about it. After a couple months it made it's way onto the site, along with a tiny interview with yours truly.

If your really bored and you think that I have anything of merit to say about anything, check out the interview HERE.

Don't forget to watch Archer THIS thursday on FX at 9 pm or 10 pm, depending on you're time time zone.

If you read the interview leave a comment so it looks like people like me.

Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! It's not until Tuesday but I didn't want to miss it.

New Year, New Blog

2010-01-06T08:28:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, I want to wish all of you the happiest of happy new years. 2010 it to win it!

Second and after foremost, ARCHER premieres this coming Thursday night, January 14th on FX. I've been working my fingers to the hypodermis on this damn show for the past 6 months. And guess what, it turned out pretty darn good. It's very adult and won't be everyones cup of tea, but who drinks tea anyway? Jerks right?

Be sure and watch it, or at the very least DVR that shit. It would be nice for it to get picked up for a second season.

Thirdly and post after foremost, my annual birthday party extravaspectacular is going down SATURDAY JANUARY 23rd!!! If you are in, near or have the means to fly into Atlanta, I'd love to see ya.

It will be a crazy night full of fun, cake, booze, improv, and dancing. The night starts at Dad's Garage, where I'm in an improv show called Murder She Improvised. Its a fun show. If you have told me repeatedly that you want to come see me perform, here's your chance to make good, whether you meant it or not. It would be nice to have an entire audience full of my friends, so I don't have to try as hard.

Dad's Garage Theater
280 Elizabeth Street Northeast
Atlanta, GA 30307-1967
(404) 523-3141
http://www.dadsgarage.com/

Right after the show we are heading to the bar under the Highland Inn, the Highland Ballroom for cake, booze and dancing. My good buddy Rene Dellefont will be spinning and it's a great place to hang out.

The Highland Inn/Ballroom
644 N Highland Avenue Northeast
Atlanta, GA 30306-7718
(404) 874-5756
http://www.thehighlandinn.com/

Spread the word Atlantans and lest make this a 37 to remember, I only have two birthdays left until 2012 and the end of the world after all.

2009-12-19T15:06:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays everyone. We bought a hat for the dog, the look on her face is utter disgust and embarrassment.

Hope everyone has a great holiday, be safe and wear reflective clothing when you go trick or treating.

Earlier Every Year

2009-11-17T12:43:00.000-08:00

We've been leaving the dog out of her doggy jail during the day, to see if she can stay out of trouble while we're away. We've let her run amuck in the living room and kitchen a couple of times and she's been pretty good. She didn't make any long distance calls or throw any wild parties.

Last week we let her out all day while we were at work. Unfortunately the bus that Nancy usually takes home had been canceled and I had to pick her up from work. This meant we didn't make it home until around 8pm. Once we arrived home I got out of the car and headed to the mailbox. Nancy went into the house. After opening the door she exclaimed, "Oh no!" I immediately had visions of our house being covered in Chewy's signature 7 layer dip.

I made my way to the house preparing for the worst. What I discovered was a living room floor completely covered in white cotton. It looked like it had snowed in our living room. I'm kicking myself for not documenting it with photos. On the floor amid the sea of soft whiteness was one of our couch pillows, hemorrhaging its billowy fluffy entrails.

At first I was mad because I thought she had ripped the pillow open from stem to stern. Using my junior CSI Miami kit, I pronounced the pillow DOA and quipped, "This is what happens when you get sick on Thanksgiving, you lose your stuffing.", then I ripped off my sunglasses. The pillow was not in fact ripped apart, Chewy was nice enough to unzip it in order to extract it's puffy payload. She is a lady after all. We shoved all the stuffing back inside the pillow and zipped it up.

After we cleaned up all the fuzz, we realized that Chewy was just trying to help us decorate the house for Christmas. We decided to continue what Chewy started and put up our Christmas decorations.

I drew a schematic and planned out the design. It was quite a feat, seeing as we only have one outlet outside. We had already started stock piling lights, ornaments, and everything else we would need to create our holiday beacon.

Finally on Sunday we were ready. All we needed was a ladder, so I could get up on the roof. We drove to the place we spend a majority of our time at now that we own a house, the Home Depot. Owning a Honda Fit somewhat limits the length of items one can purchase. We bought a 10 foot aluminum ladder and crammed it into our clown car.

THE DECORATING WAS ON!

We have gutters around the house which makes it tough to maneuver onto the roof. Our new ladder stopped about a foot and a half short of the top of the house. I was able to monkey myself onto the roof with little incident.

I finished up my light hanging and it was time to descend. Either I'm a lot older and timid than I used to be, or I just seriously misjudged my abilities, but I couldn't figure out how to get off the roof without killing myself. No matter how many times I told Nancy that the gutter would fall off if I tried to get down, she still kept saying, "Just get down already." My "cat's get stuck in tree's" all the time defense had little to no effect weakening her resolve. Luckily our neighbor across the street was on his roof as well. After quite a bit of cajoling, I persuaded/forced Nancy to go over and ask to borrow his ladder.

He brought his ladder over and saved Christmas! Thanks Brad.

And now without further ado here are the pictures of the winter wonderland we created.

Hard at work.

This is how Chewy helped out.

That ain't Santa, although I'm not far behind him in the bowl full of jelly department.

That's right, I always decapitate enemy snowmen and place their heads on stakes in front of my castle.

Hey Charlie Brown... jealous?

Waiting to be rescued. Please, throw up some food, I'm wasting away.

Take that Christmas!

Archer Promo

2009-11-11T10:27:00.000-08:00

The first couple of weeks I was working on Archer, they were putting together promos for the show. I threw one into the mix and they liked it. Low and behold it got made and below these letters is the final product.

Be sure to check the show out this coming January, it's a funny show.

Re-Issue Tuesday

2009-11-03T12:17:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot I did this. It's been about a year, it ain't perfect, but I'm still darn proud of it.

STATS:
By myself in a small room + One Month + Photoshop and Final Cut Pro =

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2009-11-01T13:08:00.000-08:00

I know technically it's the day after Halloween, but this video I made was way to scary to post on the real Halloween. If you don't like scary stuff please please please do not watch this. You've been warned.

Also here are me and Nancy's pumpkins for the past 3 years:

Time and Success

2009-10-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

OK, I believe you now. I apologize for all the times I gave you a bad time about not meeting me at the bar, not making it out to one of my shows, or not being able to just come over hang. Now that I have a full time job, a house and a dog (the dog for this instance will pose as my child, just a little less hairy than my actual kid will be)

Where the hell does the time/energy go? I get home, eat dinner, spend time with the wife, play with dog, relax for a beat and it's time for bed. And when I have time to get on the computer to try and write, edit, or blog it up, sitting in front of a computer after doing it all day seems silly. I don't want to believe I've just grown up and this is what it's supposed to be like. I want/need to still have the drive to create and do funny stuff. I still have that, it's there in my soul. I can feel it kicking. It's just buried under mountains of responsibility. Even my weekends get filled up with crap that is or isn't in my control. I'm chasing my personal dreams and it feels like that tunnel in Poltergeist that just kept getting longer and longer.

I guess it all comes down to time management, or maybe I'm just selfish. For so long I've done what I wanted to every second of the day. I chased my wants and needs, not having to worry about who it effected. That was fine when I was young and single, but if I want to find the true meaning of existence, I think I may have to let that go. Hell may be other people, but heaven is what you make it.

I've done a lot of thinking about levels of success, and what I thought success was or meant for me. Sure I want to sell a screenplay or write for a tv show, but if that doesn't happen am I a failure? Have I given up if I don't?

I'm not dead yet and all those things may still come to pass. Hopefully I have a lot of time left to find that out, but at the core of everything I'm happy. I am truly happy. I love my life and the crazy stuff I've gotten to do because of it. I love my wife and she supports me wholeheartedly. I have an amazing and wonderful family. I have a ton of great friends and acquaintances all over the world. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and can afford the occasional extravagance. Is there more? I think we all could do well to step back out of our own heads, climb on top of that huge warped idea of personal success road block we have constructed. Peer around the lofty goals we've set for ourselves and take a good look at what we do have. What we have accomplished. I bet you'd be surprised at all the positives in your life you overlook each day. It's all perspective. No matter how much you think you don't have, there is always someone with less.

So if you ask me if I feel successful, I will say yes. And I'll meet you at the bar when ever you can. No hurry, it's just good to know you are there.

Special Message

2009-10-08T16:21:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I posted a blog, and I'm sure you're really pissed off about it mom. I've just been super busy at and outside of work. I hope this special message from Dan Aykroyd will help.

Very true Dan, very true.

Water You Talking About?

2009-09-16T18:10:00.000-07:00

It was pissing down rain today,and when we got home we found this:

Rich Little of the Canine Community

2009-09-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

Taking after her dad, my little baby is becoming a comedian. Here she is doing her best Flying Nun impression. For a second you actually think you're watching a young Sally Fields.

Induced Labor Day

2009-09-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

I almost didn't have a labor day, luckily I induced it and am have a great day!

I've been busier than a one armed man in some sort of contest that requires two arms to really have any chance at all of winning. I can't decipher who needs more attention, my wife, the dog, the job or the house. They all of coarse run a close second to myself. It's not really my fault, I am a narcissistic self absorbed artist after all.

Over the past couple of weeks we put up a fence in the backyard. The new fence partitions off a section of the yard where Nancy wants to plant a big garden. Plus that side of the yard had a picket fence in through which the dog had been planning a prison break every since we got her. Seriously, she's covered with tattoos of schematics.

Here are a couple snappy snaps of the fence building shenanigans:

Nancy "The Cement Mixer" Crowder

POST!

We didn't realize until it was too late that there was a big ol' tree trunk right where we needed to dig our last post hole. Here I am using all the wrong tools and all the wrong words to violently dig out a hole.

Nailing pickets to 2x4's is fun and not at all a pain in the ass.

When building a fence in the summer in Atlanta, this is your most important tool.

Nancy is a hypochondriac.

I dun it!

GATE!

Now all I need is a midget version of Tim Allen to give advice to.

OK kids, I gotts ta write a script while I have some time on the old computing device. This is me saying, "I WILL fence you in damn-it!"

Dog, Secret Agents, and Balls

2009-08-19T10:50:00.000-07:00

As a lot of you are well aware, we adopted a rescue puppy/baby starter kit a week ago. We got her from a no kill shelter called Atlanta Pet Rescue. She is a Wiener crossed with a Pug. A Piener in other words. We named her Chewy and she is the most adorable little alien on Earth. Don't click HERE if you have eaten recently, because her cuteness will make you vomit rainbows.

Here is a quick note about the job I started last month. I'm project managing a show at Radical Axis for the creators of Frisky Dingo called Archer. It's really funny and really wrong. My two favorite things. You can read all about it HERE and HERE. The people working on the show are very talented and I'm learning a lot of useful stuff. The show is going to premiere in October after It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which is an amazing time slot. Hopefully it will get picked up for more episodes, we are only slated for 6 at this point. Also there is a clip of the first scene from the pilot HERE!

I'm also writing and working on a new show with my very funny improviser buddy Randy Havens. It's a Tenacious D style show about two motivational speakers. They are over the top and very unconventional, but they get the job done. They are pretty much self absorbed jerks, but they are best friends. We shot a commercial for their organization and the commercial alone should inspire you to get off your lazy ass and do something!

More to come my pets.

What happened to my free time?

2009-08-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

Buying a house, getting a 50 hour a week job, and adopting a dog really does eat up your free time. I went from being unemployed with nothing to do all day, to having a metric ton of responsibility within a week. I'm surprised my time doesn't have whip lash.

Well my dog just peed on the floor and I have a frozen pizza in the oven, so the small block of time I tried to secure for this blog is dwindling fast. At this point I'm going to just post a quickie photoshop automatic photo gallery to show you picks of our house. From white walls to a rainbow of fruit flavors. It's a down and dirty way to do these internets, but it saved me bookoos of time.

To see the new digs click HERE!

So far this new house has helped me develop a hate/love relationship with Ikea.

I'll post pics of our cute as all get out new pooch, Chewy, as soon as I can.

Busy busy busy

2009-08-10T06:44:00.001-07:00

Long story short, got new job, bought a house, adopted a dog.

Here is a horrible cell phone picture of our newest family member, Chewy:

We don't have internet at our house yet and i have no time at work to do crap like blog, but I promise tons of pictures to come.

Miss you, love you.

More Snark for Ya

2009-07-09T09:21:00.000-07:00

Here's another installment of America's favorite snark monger:

The End is Nigh

2009-07-08T06:54:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else worried that Michael Jackson is going to rise from the grave with an army of undead, bloodthirsty, choreographed, brain eating zombies? I mean it was prophesied in the thriller video. I'm buying shotgun shells just in case.

Don't worry to much though, if the zombies are all dancers, it's a pretty sure thing that they will be taking a lot of smoke breaks. This will give you extra time to run away.

Here is another sign that this may happen, Capcom just released the cover for their next installment of the Resident Evil franchise:

Don't worry, I've already called down to reserve my room in hell.

UPDATE:
I was just wondering when MJ died, did he revert back to his pre-surgery state? Like when you kill a werewolf and it turns back into a human.

Also, hell just called back and is reserving an entire floor for me.

The Client Has Chosen You

2009-07-07T06:35:00.000-07:00

I was trolling Craig's List last week for job leads and came across a strange listing in the tv/film/video/radio jobs section. It was just titled "Green Screen". I clicked the link and found out they were looking for all body types and ages for "green screen" work. I totally fit those parameters, plus they were paying 75 dollars for two hours of work.

They didn't want head shots or resume's, just a full body picture. I sent them this:

I know... I know, totally sexy right?

I figured what he hell. After a day or two I received an e-mail from them, informing me that the "client" had chosen me. I was to be at the studio between 2pm and 4pm the following Tuesday.

It all seemed very ominous. I had no idea what it is for (and still don't) or what I would be doing. I couldn't help but picture a shadowy figure in the back of the room, smoking a cigarette and talking through a microphone that distorted his voice. He would lean forward into the microphone and say things like, "Mr. Gibbons, I need you to bend over and pick up that gun in front of you... slower... with conviction... think about a puppy... ", sounding like the dude from all 87 Saw movies.

On Monday I got a call from them telling me to wear dark clothing. They also wanted to know if it was OK if they had me walk on a treadmill. At first I thought this might be a very elaborate hoax by my wife to get me to do some exercise.

This afternoon I drove to the studio which was in a pretty shady part of town. For all intents and purposes I could have been going to an alien landing site to be eaten by space creatures and no one would have ever known.

I pulled up and parked in front of the warehouse. After walking into literally 4 of the wrong offices, I finally found the right building. I signed the waver and was lead to a big open studio with a huge green screen.

The producer told me where to stand as 7 people entered the room and sat in directors chairs to watch. They never said a word. I was told to stand there and act as if I was at a bus stop. I did. Then they told me to change into the cargo shorts I was instructed to bring. I was again directed to stand there.

As a performer, it was very difficult. I had to really reach down inside and pull out several very real, very painful memories of situations where I was just standing around in order to really make my performance read. It was some of my best work.

Ten minutes from the time I arrived I was leaving, $75 bucks richer. That means I was making $450 dollars an hour... sort of. It's tough work being a paid actor. I can see why actors are always bitching and moaning about their life.

CIVIL WAR!

2009-07-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

A while ago I did a test spot for Adult Swim. Here is that very spot:

It was the inspiration for the Night-OH-Cabaret spot that followed. Also still looking for work, so if you need a copy writer, writing assistant, video editor or monkey to turn the handle on your organ grinder let me know.

New Segment

2009-07-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

I have wanted to do this for a while, and now I have gone and done it. Enjoy:

Land Mime

2009-07-03T07:12:00.000-07:00

I'm playing a mime/assassin in an improv show tonight at Dad's Garage here in Atlanta. It's an improvised soap opera that takes place in a circus. It's the 8th or 9th show and I'm a guest player. It should be a lot of fun, so if you are in the ATL stop on in tonight.

Seriously, dude... seriously

2009-07-01T07:07:00.000-07:00

I'm grabbing all my blog readers by their collar, all 5 of you, and pulling you dramatically to me. Our noses are inches away as I stare into your eyes with a desperate gaze. I grit my teeth and say, "I'm begging ya man, help me get some work!"

Tightening my grip on your shirt I shake you for effect. You uncomfortably look away from my piercing stare. I raise my hand forcing your head to turn slightly, reconnecting or eyes. You can hear the immediacy in my voice as I plead, "Seriously, dude, you have got to know of someone, heard about something, anything. I just need a little help to get some work man." My cadence is strong and fearless.

I let go of you, sinking your tip toed stance back into its normal full foot/floor contact. You step back, shaken by my emotional plea. Rubbing your forearm you nervously search your mind, thinking, reaching back for something. You want to say something that might placate my needs. But don't.

All the times before when I asked, you dismissed me with the normal conversational formalities. You would automatically, almost dismissively, utter, "Yeah yeah man, I'll see if I can find anything or hear anything." Then you would go back to your self absorbed daily grind. I'm not condemning you for this. I do the same thing hundreds of times a day. We all do. It's our nature to want to please people with empty sentiment.

I'm am asking you all to break from the natural human need to appease everyone with empty promises. There are a lot of you out there that know me. You know that I am smart and talented. You know I can do a lot of different things. All I am asking is for you to take a second, think about it, and see if you know of somebody who may be looking for someone.

Just thought I'd ask for some work leads in as entertaining a way as I could. Thanks internet friends. BTW I'm looking for writing, editing, acting or production work in the Atlanta area, but will pretty much take anything at this point.

Done

2009-06-30T14:08:00.000-07:00

I did it and will be posting all the comments and responses soon. Unfortunately facebook blocked me from posting right before 5 o'clock. They said I was posting to much and possibly in violation of some stupid facebook law. Up yours facebook.

Postapaloosa '09

2009-06-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to leave a comment on every status update that pops up on facebook today from 9am to 5pm EST. Not sure why, not sure if I'll make it, and still not sure after 10 years exactly who let the dogs out.

Fun With Crappy Cell Phone Camera

2009-06-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

Was at the mall yesterday and saw that somebody had taken a P.

Not real sure what this magazine is talking about.

This is a Great Time to be Alive, Unfortunately

2009-06-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

I had the realization that we're living life way to fast. We are accessible 24 hours a day on our cell phones and just seconds away from all the knowledge in the universe. By the time a person reaches the age of 50, they have probably seen and done 10 times as much as someone the same age from just 30 years ago.

Think about it, if you want to get together with 4 friends for dinner, all you do is text or e-mail them 30 minutes beforehand. If you don't know how to get to the restaurant you just type the address into your GPS.

Thirty years ago you would have to plan a meeting like that days in advance. You would call your friends on their home phone. If they weren't there you would have to keep calling until they answered. They would check their schedule and have to get back to you. You would have to wait for them to call you back. If you didn't know how to get to the restaurant you would have to look up it's number in the phone book, call, and ask for directions. If they gave you bad directions and you got lost you would have to stop and ask someone for directions.

Flash back 30 more years and the same situation would take even longer. It's pretty crazy to think about.

Are we any smarter because of this? No, unfortunately our new instant access world wide communication abilities have just turned us into a bunch of self absorbed narcissistic attention whores. I mean, you're reading my blog right now. I'm sitting in my boxer shorts typing this in an attempt to get attention. I actually believe people give a shit about what I have to say. And the best part about this is, you have the ability to comment about what I have to say, as if I gave a shit about what you have to say. It's a vicious circle of selfish egotism.

I know nobody cares about what I have to say. I'm a self aware narcissist, and yet I can't seem to stop myself from being sucked into the belly of the beast. I don't think a lot of people are aware of their own "issues" or problems. It doesn't seem that way at least. Maybe they are and they just don't want to deal with them. Fair enough I suppose.

I'm all to aware of each and every one of my flaws, and there are a lot. I even try to fix them from time to time. Not very successfully, but I do try.

My point, I guess, is that even though we are living faster, learning more, and experiencing tons of things, we as a people aren't any better off for it. I'm not very smart. I want to be, but I'm not. I'm sitting in front of this magical infinite knowledge machine, and yet all I choose to do with it is look up info on video games and porn. I could read every volume of the encyclopedia, learn to fix an engine, or figure out what creates a black hole, but instead I'm reading about the new iPhone.

I suppose a person is shackled to their interests. I love movies, video games, and comedy. In turn that is what defines my internet searches. You may love horses and back surgery, and that determines what you search. I'm not sure why we pigeon hole ourselves into such narrow minded life paths. Maybe it's because we have been conditioned to need labels placed on things in order to understand them. It's easier to say that a song is "country", than saying it's a blue grassy, jazz infused, northern Ireland inspired, bass heavy, rhythmic exploration. We need generalized boxes in which to put our lives. Unfortunate this leads to us putting ourselves into those very boxes.

I get so angry when I'm out with people that won't try different food. They have three things they eat and turn their noses up at anything different. I'm not sure when it happened to me, but I know there was a time when I was the same way. One day I opened my mind and tried something new. It was amazing and now I have eaten so many delicious things from every corner of the globe. It opens your eyes to culture and diversity. That's not to say I have liked everything I've eaten, but at least I've tried. Saying "No" really limits your life even with something so seemingly trivial as food.

OK I'm rounding home now. Bottom line, we have the chance to open our minds. This is a glorious time to be alive as far as knowledge goes. I'm going to try to read a web page everyday that is out of my narrow cone of interests. I want to broaden my knowledge and my perspective and I'm politely asking you to follow me.

Just because we have the abilty to be more awesome, doesn't mean we are.

Media Blitz

2009-06-26T07:14:00.000-07:00

The big show's finished. The lights have faded, the curtain's been drawn, and the vomit has been steamed out of the carpets. I thought I'd post some snippets from the media frenzy that surrounded the event. We worked our fingers to the bone to get coverage for this event and it literally did about as good as yelling into a toilet. Oh well.

Here is Part 1 and 2 of a video interview we did for
Pegasus News.

Just a side note, I'm not that fat, the camera guy had the bad posture lens attached and we didn't notice until after the interview.

Our Interview on The Richard Hunter Show. It was a live remote from a strip club by the way.

And last but certainly not least, a nice shout out from Dana Snyder on his weekly podcast The Ken P. D. Snydecast.

The show really was great, I just wish more people could have enjoyed it.

Squirrels, Fishers, and find me a job

2009-06-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

When I was in Dallas last week, Ricki and I shot some video stuff for the Cabaret show. Our film maker buddy Clay Liford let me use the edit bay in his apartment to cut the video stuff together.

While I was tirelessly toiling away at Final Cut Pro, I noticed that there was something moving outside the window directly to my left. It turned out to be a squirrel on the window upon closer inspection. He was eating a leaf. I got right up to the window and the little guy didn't even flinch. I decided to snap a picture with my crappy cell phone.

It turned out OK, but I wanted to get closer. I tapped on the window to see what he would do. All he did was look at me, then start licking the glass. I took another picture of him doing this and I will forever be kicking myself for not having a better camera on me.

Me and Ricki decided to make some new video pieces for the 10th anniversary of the Cabaret. We thought instead of making silly fake commercials we would make videos involving actual characters from the past 10 years of the show.

One of the characters that I loved doing was a jazz musician called Fisher T. Price. I wanted to base a character off of all these toy instruments I had been buying at he time, thus a jazz great was born. We decided it would be funny if this character had actually died and we had made a memorial video about him. I added a couple of scenes to this version that weren't in the live screening, please enjoy:

It's back to trying to find a job. Me and the wife are inches away from closing on our first house. It's not the biggest house on the block, but it will be ours. I'm excited about all the free shoes we will inevitably be getting because our house is so small that people will keep mistaking it for a shoebox.

At any rate, a job would be great so I can help pay the mortgage each month. Keep your fingers crossed out there, thanks.

Thanks!

2009-06-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

The show was absolutely amazing!

I wanted to say thanks to all of you brave souls that attended. We worked really hard on putting the show together. I might have developed an ulcer in the process. It was all worth the trouble. Hope you all enjoyed it.

Dana Snyder rocked the house. He was great as usual and I can't say enough nice things about him. Me and Ricki had lunch with him the following Sunday. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met. Thanks again Dana for helping us entertain the masses.

Wanted to thank Sam "Sammy" Mertes for working the DVD player. I hate asking my friends to work our shows, but with our non existent budgets, it's sort of impossible not to call on your buddies to help out. You did great Sam and we really appreciate it. You are and will always be my best friend.

Richard "Dickie Vantatsic" Ross did a great job with the props and as Shekkie's blind rim shot provider. Thanks for always lending a hand and not complaining, even when we force you to wear a diaper on stage. Also please buy Richards paintings so he can feed his new baby. The baby eats money.

Thanks to Kelly Kitchens for helping us spread the word about the show. Our show is hard to explain and we have no idea how to do PR, so we really appreciate it when you provide your services, no matter how many tickets you need. Also, more interviews at strip clubs please.

We may not always see eye to eye on things, but we certainly balance each other out. Ricki Derek's a good friend and a great performer. I'm truly thankful that we connected and were able to create such a timeless, fun, different, strange, endearing, always maturing and long running piece of entertainment. I look forward to our next project, because they help keep us young. Well, that and the collagen injections.

Also thanks to Sibley and the kids for putting up with me each time we do a show. You are a gracious, loving and understanding host. I love that you have the kids around as well, so there is someone shorter than me at the house. I know I take Ricki away from you guys for a week, but I always give him back. Not in the best condition, but back nonetheless.

Thanks to Paul Armstrong for letting us shake out the good jokes in his brain, and for not getting upset when we incinerated the bad ones.

Thanks to the rest of the cast for blindly going with us to bigger and better venues, even though you wanted us to keep the show hidden away inside a dark dank cavern. Trust us guys, we know whats best for the show, and it ain't a small vomit covered bar.

Thanks to Clay Liford for letting us use his editing suite at the last minute. You are always supportive and always willing to help. Best of luck with the new movie and looking forward to being your Oscar date.

Thanks to Wayne at the Lakewood. You really believe in the show, and we couldn't ask for a better venue. You helped us bring the show to life at the Lakewood and even if it wasn't as successful as we had hoped, you understand the show's worth and you appreciate the work we put into it. That means a lot to us both.

I wanted to thank my wife for letting me play with Ricki. She may not understand why I want to work so hard on something that frustrates me so much and generally makes me no money, but she has never told me not to do it. Thank you for loving me enough to know that I occasionally need to follow my heart down dark tunnels, knowing that you will always be on the other side to pull me out.

Thanks for pulling overtime to help me with the tiger cage Mom. I know every time I come into town I put you to work, but I think deep down you enjoy it. Right? It keeps things exciting. I love you so very much and I literally could not do what I do without your help. Thanks! Oh yeah, and Dad, thanks for not grounding me when I force mom to do my bidding. I'm also sending you get well rays for your shoulder.

This is starting to sound like a suicide note. It's not, I promise. I just wanted to get something down to show my appreciation to all those that make the Cabaret possible. I'm sure there are tons more to thank and hug. Just know that the Cabaret holds a very special place in my heart. It helped me to grow into the confident performer I am today. It helped push me to write more. It helped me realize that not all ideas are golden, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't at least try. It opened up a world of new friends. It introduced me to a kindred spirit. But most of all it allowed me to make people laugh. That is my one true love in life, and I've stored all those laughs in my soul. They help me move forward. They stand me up when I'm full of doubt. Nothing in the world will ever take those away from me.

Thanks for the laughs Cabaret. Now... whens the next show?

Truck and Tractor Trailer

2009-06-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

Only 3 weeks left until the HUGE Night-OH-Cabaret show. I'm so freaking excite! It's going to be amazing. Hope you've gotten your tickets and told all your friends. The tickets are selling really well and I really super duper hope we sell out.

My good buddy Mike Geier read a commercial I wrote for the show in his amazing Truck and Tractor Pull announcer voice. I just got done editing the video part and it turned out really fun, check it out.

I've got that butterfly feeling in my gut already for the show. This will be the biggest thing we've ever tried to pull off and it's all starting to sink in. I have a ton of stuff to memorize and get ready for the show.

For the love of Pete, if you've been putting off coming to the show, stop it! Come to this one! It will at the very least be something fun and different to do on a Saturday night.

Love you guys, gotta get back to work.

Excite-O-Tech

2009-05-13T13:24:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited about the upcoming Night-OH-Cabaret's 10 and a Half Year Anniversary Show (btw, tickets are on sale now at Ticket Master or by calling 214-821-7469)!!!! I still can't believe Dana Snyder from Adult Swim is going to be performing. It's going to be super duper awesome!

We got some more good news, Excite-O-Tech is going to help sponsor the show. If you've been a regular to the show for the past 10 and a half years, you no doubt have seen Ron and Don pitching Excite-O-Tech products in the show. But if for some reason you haven't seen those guys talking about what a great company Excite-O-Tech Industries is, here is a link to their website:

EXCITE-O-TECH INDUSTRIES

Please help us spread the word about the show and get your tickets today!

The World is a Safer Place

2009-05-11T07:45:00.000-07:00

It's official, the world's a much safer place now that facebook, twitter, myspace, and every other social networking site has appeared on the scene. Now stalkers can leer, drool, and gawk at their prey from the privacy of their own one room apartments above the garage of that nice old couple.

Stalkers used to have to wait outside they're ex girlfriend/ex fiance/ex wife/the new receptionist's work for hours; waiting for them to emerge so they could follow them home. The stalker had to wear all black and climb trees to get a glimpse through the window of their obsession. Not only was it dangerous, but grass stains and tree sap are really hard to get out of clothing.

As if clinging to a tree branch wasn't bad enough, we... I mean they used to have to buy all kinds of expensive night vision goggles and binoculars. It was hard because night manager jobs at convenience stores just didn't pay that much. Stalkers would compile hundreds of dollars in credit card debt trying to keep up with the latest in high tech surveillance equipment.

Wire taps, cameras, stolen underwear, developing all that film for the huge wall montage/shrine. It just ate up all a persons free time. Now, thankfully, all you have to do is become your targets friend online and a world of pictures, status updates, and location information opens up to you. It's like a stalker invented it.

Yep, it's a good, and safer, time to be a stalker.

It's PABBIYS Friday!

2009-05-08T07:18:00.001-07:00

That's right jerks, it's the official "Put a Bedtime Bear in Your Shirt Friday"! This is my favorite day of the year. I do get quite annoyed at how stores start selling Put a Bedtime Bear in Your Shirt Friday decorations earlier and earlier each year. Oh well, that's capitalism I guess. As long as you remember the true meaning of the day, it's all good.

Happy Put a Bedtime Bear in Your Shirt Friday everyone!!!!

Don't Ask

2009-05-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

OK, I could get in a lot of trouble for this, so don't ask how I got a hold of this picture:

I'm willing to sell it to the highest bidder, I hope someone from the Enquirer reads my blog, I need some cash.

I just got back from the dentist and boy are my teeth stuffed with shit. I was going in for a teeth cleaning, but I also had to get a crown put on. The dentist needed to cover up the hole the more expensive dentist made when he did my root canal. It was my lucky day because they found a cavity. Not only did I get a crown, but I got a brand new hole drilled in my head and filled with teeth hole filling shit. And all of that before 9 am.

Boo.

AWESOME NEWS!!!

2009-05-04T10:05:00.000-07:00

I wanted all 3 of the people that read my blog to be the first to hear the great news. After weeks of planning and trying to get schedules to work out, we finally cinched it up.

This Night-OH-Cabaret's already shaping up to be an amazing, fun, and crazy event. The show just got freaking incredible with the addition of this special guest performer. Without further ado, let me be the first to tell you all, we have the great honor of presenting non other than the infamous Mr. Dana Snyder to the stage! That's right the voice of so many hysterically funny characters on Adult Swim is performing in our show.

I met Dana in a burlesque show I was playing Cupid in this past Valentines Day. He was performing old school Vaudevillian style acts in the show and I was blown away. He's absolutely hysterically funny and has got his schtick down to a science. It was so impressive to watch, and I immediately started thinking how great it would be to have him do his stuff in the Night-OH-Cabaret.

I got in touch with him and he was really excited about the prospect. Luckily the Lakewood Theater had Saturday June 20th become available at the last minute and Dana was free that weekend. It was on!

Mr. Snyder is crazy talented and it's going to be a challenge for us to keep up with him in the show, but it should make the show that much better.

Please let everyone know about the show and pass along this cool news.

You can get your tickets NOW through Ticket Master, or save a couple bucks off the service charge and get your tickets straight through The Lakewood Theater.

Eyepatch Friday!

2009-05-01T10:48:00.001-07:00

It's fucking eye patch Friday bitches! Grab an eye patch and slap that shit on right now, or you are out of the club!

Stop talking like a pirate you idiot, what do you think it is, Pirate Wednesday? It's just eye patch Friday, it has nothing to do with pirates. You are so embarrassing sometimes, I mean really.

God I'm bored today.

Smart Car

2009-04-30T11:59:00.000-07:00

I found out last Friday night that the Smart Car's name in no way corresponds to the actual person driving the vehicle.

Nancy and I were on our way to Dad's Garage. We were tooling down a road in our neighborhood that we had been down many times. At one particular bend of the road, another residential street T's into the street we were on.

The direction I was going, which was a natural continuation of the road we were on, had no stop sign. I continued along at my speed, assuming the street that dead ends onto another street would have a stop sign. (upon later inspection we found out it didn't) I notice a red smart car is speeding it's tiny ass toward us. It wasn't slowing down. I sped up to avoid contact.

We pass the smart car just as it is turning left. I look in the rear view mirror just in time to see the smart car change its direction in mid left turn, whipping itself around. It's now speeding up behind us. I thought for sure he wasn't chasing us down in a fit of residential street rage.

He got closer and closer. At the next stop sign I could hear him yelling at us. Then he turned and drove away. It made me feel icky. Who the hell chases people down these days. We are in the freaking south for God's sake. Odds are I had a gun somewhere on me or in the car. What an idiot. I don't care how badly you piss me off while I'm driving, I won't ever chase you and yell at you. That's just stupid, immature and dangerous.

I guess the fact that we were in a Honda Fit made us less imposing. Perhaps if I was in a huge black truck with tinted windows he might have rethought his actions.

I have to say, if our Honda Fit and the Smart Car would have collided, it would have been the cutest car wreck ever.

Swine!

2009-04-28T06:51:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad the media isn't fueling global terror by painting the swine flu in a horrific and apocalyptic light. The media is so thoughtful and has really taken into consideration the public's mental well being. I applaud you media, it's not often that a leopard changes its "over reacting sensationalistic" spots. Media, you have taken the high road this time, thought that maybe you shouldn't instill unnatural fright in an already trigger shy, recession suffering, terrorist fearing public.

Bravo.

The Wondrous Times

2009-04-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

Here is the short I made for Channel 101 this month, it was not selected. Boo. It's really silly. I laugh every time I watch it, which isn't the case with a lot of my shorts. I wanted to step out side the over planning, stringent, micro managing box I'm always in when I shoot a 101 pilot. I wanted to just grab the camera and be silly. I had a great time making this and it was a ton of fun. It's a shame it didn't get picked, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Be warned, this isn't like most of the stuff I do, and it won't be every ones cup of tea, but if you like it please pass it along to your friends.

Earthday!

2009-04-22T07:15:00.000-07:00

I know I stopped doing video blogs, but I wanted to share my Earthday ritual in person!

Night-OH NEW DATE

2009-04-21T16:37:00.000-07:00

We finally have a date for the 10th Anniversary Night-OH-Cabaret show. It's going to be Saturday June 20th at the Lakewood Theater. We are trying to get a really cool guest star to preform in the show, and I was freaking jazzed out of my mind yesterday morning because he said he could do it. Then I found out he might actually be doing another show the next night and it bummed me out to no end.

Nothing is set in stone yet so please send well wishes and good thoughts my way.

Here is a poster and video for the show:

I'm super excited about this show. Hopefully things will work out with our secret guest star. We're pulling out all the stops and trying to make it an amazing experience. If you're in Dallas for the love of God make plans to go. The Ticket info isn't posted yet but I'll let you know when it is. This show has been a big part of my life and holds a very special place in my heart. Help us spread the word and fill up every seat in that theater, this show deserves some love.

PIR

2009-04-14T07:08:00.000-07:00

Shooting some stuff today, but wanted to drop this on you guys if you missed it like me. Watch closely when the 4th person is called at the very beginning of the show.

The Price is Right!

Just click that link above to see my fat ass cheer on someone that should have been me.